Dreams are meant to be fulfilled . . .사랑해요

Holidays!

2011-06-16T01:03:00.002+08:00

Wanted to talk about my New Zealand trip! I went to NZ on the first week of holidays, i was anticipating so much as this trip was cancelled two years ago due to swine flu >< This year, instead of a follower, I had the chance to become a leader. However, it comes with a lot of responsibilities and I was wondering if i will let loose and enjoy myself there. I have been really uptight when it comes to rehearsal as we only had 2 weeks to prepare for all of our items and its really a big rush ><

Took pictures with all the members ^^ Most of them are of lower secondary students and they are all really fun people after you get to know them ^^ Sadly, we had conflict for like 4 days before making up on Friday. That was when I learn that ice-skating is a really great sport after a conflict ^^ But I fell like twice and seriously I was laughing my head off ^^ It hurts badly but its super fun!

It was tough to say goodbye to our hosts, after all, we had been with them for one whole week and they have been taking really good care of us especially since we were in a foreign place! My host is Emilie Taylor, and she is really really nice! She is younger then me by 3 years old but she really has the potential of being a great leader!

I miss them like seriously! HOMEGURLZ FOR THE WIN !!!!!!!

Time to start blogging ^^

2011-06-08T07:14:00.002+08:00

hehe, just remembered that i haven't be posting for like half a month, but i doubt if anyone were to ever read my pathetic blog even if i did blog.

Well, had a dramatic half a year . . . Apparently, i am back with friends with selle again, but none of the others though . . . At first i hadn't really expected it as i never thought we will become good friends again. I sort of missed her company i guess, having someone to talk to was good. Well, i suppose that is a good thing ^^

I managed to get a change of subjects, POA ^^ Thanks to that, I have 2 subjects under the A grade ^^ was kinda happy though ^^

This year was different again, but as compared to last year, it was a lot livelier and maybe because we were strangers, i could befriend others slightly easier. The sad thing is that i got LCH as my form teacher ><

Well, kinda disappointed with my friend. I am sick of her giving me attitude and expecting to me go along with her. Is this the real her? If it is, i really have nothing to say ><

Well, I will end here now. If anything more to happen, I will definitely blog okay? I promise ^^

Today

2010-12-03T02:38:00.002+08:00

Haiz, another day over without any thing done ><><

Went to KK hospital for some family things before going to Grand Cathay and eat Astons Grill ^^ The food there is like big portions with two side dishes, its those type that is considered cheap and filling. Ate lamb loin chop with onion ring and coleslaw. The cream of mushroom there is highly recommendable as its really nice ^^ After that had free tall peppermint mocha frappecino without whipped cream as desert ??? There was this charity event that the Salvation Army and Starbucks had collaborated. Sat around there till maybe 7.30pm before going to play L4D2 and to wait for my mum to finish her dancing lessons for the songs that is required for her to perform with her other colleagues.

I should make this straight, i can't play games like L4D cause i seriously suck. Is it because of my mouse or i really am an idiot ???? I wonder . . . Before ending our session, i was thinking of playing audition sea and see how much i have actually detoriated, but apparently was unsuccesful due to other various factors ><

Went to meet my mum after that, thinking she was gonna eat with her colleague but she left early. Went with her mum to her office and stayed there till 12am??? Left and started walking around doing nothing and took a taxi home ^^

Now, watching Bloody Monday starring Haruma Miura as the lead ^^ Was thinking of washing clothes now but my mum didn't allow so . . . Good night everyone and sweet dreams ^^

Wednesday

2010-12-01T23:34:00.002+08:00

The day is coming soon !!!!!!!! Getting more and more nervous as time goes by . . .

Watch a super touching movie this morning, called koizora, which is also 恋空。You all should really watch it ^^

Haven't receive any informationregarding my subject choice for next year. Haiz, i don't wanna take pure hist next year ><

Why is studies making into such a huge point in our lives ???????

Outing

2010-11-30T15:23:00.002+08:00

Went out yesterday with Cheryl, Gaby and Hui Ling to cycle at East Coast Park ^^ Was suppose to include Bessie too but apparently she couldn't make it as she was super tired after her camp which had ended the same day.

Well, so early in the morning Gaby came over to my house as she had to settle some things in school and since she was near my house, i told her to come along. Nothing much happened after that. Met Cheryl at the small mac in Tampines Interchange. My third present was Key necklace ^^ thanks ^^

Well, so after that we took bus 31 to East Coast PArk from there, so we took a taxi there instead ><>< What is this, but we still decided to cycle before going for Kbox ^^ Me and Hui Ling took the double seater one while both Gaby and Cheryl took the single one. WE HAD LOADS OF FUN IN THE RAIN ^^We were all practically drenched from head to toe.

After that we went to Marina Square, decided to keep ourselves warm by eating those super hot warm as we were practically freezing with the wet clothes still on our body as we didn't bring clothes to change out into.Only Cheryl and Gaby went in the end as Hui Ling's mom didn't allow and my mum only replied me at 9pm when the session end ><

Having a headache now, is it due to the rain yesterday ???

THANK YOU GIRLS FOR MAKING YESTERDAY SO ENJOYABLE ^^

Long ~ time

2010-11-26T15:53:00.001+08:00

I wonder how long has it been since i last posted on this blog. I think its already super dead >< So many things has happen this year. Should i keep this blog alive ???

finally re-posting

2010-07-15T19:06:00.003+08:00

So many things have been happening this year. Must be like the most dramatic year ever. Seriously, people are so unpredictable. One day you may think that they are a good friend, the next thing you know, they will stab you in the back.

Why is it that people tends to not care about the other person's feelings? Instead, they hurt it in any way they wanted.

Humans heart and feelings are just like glass, easily breakable and fragile. The more you think its fun, the more hurting it will actually be. Just wanna let them know, they should really understand matters by facing face to face and just talk in a nice manner.

HOMEWORK!

2010-01-20T19:12:00.001+08:00

Secondary three live is so totally horrendous! The homework that are given to me by my teachers never seem to end. Its going to pile up into a mountain soon!

Just finished my second day at NCO day camp. TIRING!

So many activities going on now. SHINee dance, NCO camp and now, 2 star kayaking course! The worse thing is that all is on the same day and same time! Super coincidental!

Decided to go for 2 star kayaking course! If now really wasted!

clever me this time ^^

2010-01-09T18:52:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAS! Just found out how clever i am ^^

Read giselle's post again then saw her write about de wei and gary, make me feel like laughing out loud. I was already acting at that point of the year, seeing what their reactions might be. Well, it was a little unexpected though.

I fake cry also cannot differentiate sia, how stupid can that be?

Lucky me, now that i am out of the group. Just like Xiuqi unnie said, not worth it.

I say i have emo drink also belive, now i am not the gullible me ^^

Pathetic

2010-01-08T22:08:00.002+08:00

Now i know how i stupid i am. . .

They didn't really treat me as friend, just someone that they can make use of. To think that i went with them to Potong Pasir with them just to see daryl, and end up having bad results.

When i was in trouble, they wasn't even so protective. I think that just totally proves it doesn't it? I totally agree with what eddy had told me the other day. To think that i totally scolded them for framing giselle, saying that she said i was despo for a BF.

Had they even wondered why? Everytime i tried telling them, they would be like 'Orhhs'. Lucky i didn't show them my real side. Otherwise, who knows what worse things might happen.

You all just didn't realise how you all really treated me. Somemore keep saying in the class that i was the only one thinking i was a spare tire and that it wasn't true.

Now it all makes sense doesn't it? How pathetic i was. Sooner or later, i have a feeling that isabelle might be the next one.

Now, the only person i can trust now is myself and no one else.

Really just feel like asking them to just go and die las.

If we go out and hui wen is very silent, you all straight away ask her what is wrong and just leave me alone with guys that i dunno. For me? You ignore me. Knowing that i hate the f word, you all still purposely say it in front of me like no one's business.

To think that i believe you when you said that you don't wanna lose me as a friend. Those are all lies isn't it?

From now on, i will no longer be gullible.

New post for the new year

2010-01-07T20:58:00.002+08:00

Time sure is fast! Now is already the year of 2010, sec 3 life that is totally new and unfamiliar with.

Quite a lot of people we dunno. The first impression? Quiet . . . . Compared o last year 2J'09, it was very quiet!

Going to start studying crazy this year! O levels have to get at least 2 distinction. One is definitely MT. In 3E this year, the only 6 subject class. Have more time to focus on science and maths.

We got Ms Jasmine Choo (Or should i be Mrs Yee soon?)as our form teacher and Mrs Noeline Wong as our Co-form teacher (WOOHOOO) but the sad thing is Mrs wong might be leaving us soon.

Not really sure what to write now though, add in later ^^

FANFIC!

2009-11-25T23:45:00.003+08:00

Plan to make 2 different fanfic ^^ So i will be updating my blog quite often now . . . Will have different versions to those so, yeah, stay tuned ^^

(Sounds as though you guys are watching a TV serial!)

Updating

2009-11-24T18:32:00.002+08:00

Finally updating my blog le. Have so many things to write about but, i was lazy and tired cause of certain reasons. Its going to be very messy cause i am going to write things that just came into my mind ><

First off, my birthday that was on 18 November!!! So glad that it finally came but i also proves that time is really going very quickly! In a blink of am eye, this year has come to an end and in less than 2 months, i am going to Sec3. Though there are people that are going down to NA, but we were at least in a class before!

Secondly, camp. I didn't post anything about that i realise just. Camp was fun, well the lessons were slightly boring or was it because of the fact that i didn't get any sleep in the first night. Our group was name Pink Panthers and well, it had to be a cartoon character and match the colour that was chosen by our dear facilitator. Quite a number of schools were there and me and isabelle were like trying to guess who is better looking than who in our class ^^ Was learning how to be a panelist, to help our school in the CIP part and we were honoured that we were the only class that was participating it in honour of our school ^^

Last thing that i can think of, saturday! I had to wear red colour pyjamas and cloks in the house, imagine how noisy and troublesome it was! Woke up early and didn't manage to get ehough sleep again! My brother was like complaining to my mum on why i had to wear that! Really, i am so glad that it was only going to be once in a lifetime though!

Nothing much that i can remember now. . . Have super short term memory ><
Well, i will update my blog more though with so much free time on my hands ^^

FINALLY !!!!!

2009-11-06T15:04:00.002+08:00

Finally i can get into blogger. . . Been having problems lately. Dunno why i couldn't get in ><

Had the weirdest dream yesterday . . . Something that was so real that nearly make me cry. . . Lets just hope that it never happens. . .

Dunno what to post lehs, very bored lately . . .

This video is super cute so i'll show it to you all ^^

Hope that those who comes to my blog will like it ^^

Sighs

2009-10-29T14:19:00.002+08:00

Finally I can really post without fear of receiving judgement on what I am going to post.

Haiz, things have not been going quite well for me. Getting scolded no matter what i do, be it good or bad. Just wanna emo, like what they seem to be doing to get rid of their stress and unhappiness, but i know that i can't do it. Seems like my presence in with you all seems to have worsen. Like my mood swings, crying whenever i feel like, and having to endure them when i'm with you all. Feels really tired all of a sudden.

All my stress seems to be coming from not only my family, but my really cose friends too. Seems like i can only sit there, stay quiet to stay out of scoldings. Is it really my fault to not like vulgarities? Do i have to change my style of dressing just to suit with rest and go with the 'fashion'? Really very confuse . . .

Nothing just seems to be going right for me, and i wonder why. I may be repeating many things again and again but this is how i really feel. I know that my blog is empty and that nobody visits it but i still wanna put it on permission to stop people except for you to come T.T

Today's post is really long, longer then usual, cause i know that i can finally release whatever i really thinks from today onwards. . .

When can all of this stop? When i commit suicide(which is impossible for me to do it now even though i wish to) ? Or is it when i just ignore everyone and become the loner that i have always been? The one thats being hated in the class since the beginning of last year for a reason that i dunno why and don't wish to care anymore. . .

Haiz, just wanna say that you all will always be my best friend whether you all hate me a not, which is something i don't care anymore . . . .

Leaving,
Loner Audrey

SHORT POST

2009-10-22T12:41:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAS, in school now ^^
so many things have happen lately and i dunno whether or not i can forget about it.
The supposedly good news that was told to me just a few days ago by Giselle seems to be a bad news to me.
I wonder why . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

hope that he is alright . . . . .

EMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-17T22:58:00.002+08:00

Today's post is going to be real short . . .

Went to escape theme park today because i had free tickets that are due today. Nothing to play at all so lets all wait for the upcoming Universal Studio theme park !!!
My favourite ride were taken away! so super upset because i could not get to even get to see it. Only one word to describe. BORING!

Came home quite late, because i ate dinner outside. Had to receive scolding for nothing, or i should say a stupid thing, and it all comes down to being my fault again.

when will all these stop? i am really getting tired of everything! Someone help me please. . .
Hope he is recovering well . . .

Holidays = Boredom

2009-10-15T15:38:00.000+08:00

Nothing to do for the week long holiday . . . Stay at home and blogging not just shows how free i am . . . Had fun spamming Daryl's blog though, stupid passerby go and say things about Giselle and Daryl and even ME !!! Super piss me off!!! For once i wanna kill him !!!!!!!!

Thinking of fun things to do at home, nut what is there other then the com , tv and phone . . . total boredom !!! Cannot go out because Parents don't let, and i am broke after taking the taxi with my dearest Isabelle! lucky she paying half of it otherwise i'll realli be broke! Seeing pasar malam reminds me of the korean rice cakes that i bought when i was at Bugis, super nice !!!

Don't really know what to post le . . . Oh ya , awaiting impatiently for SHINee's MV teaser !!!! Loves Key and him always !!!! :)

Wonder how is his hand . . . is it recovering well? Really wish to message him but don't want his message to bomb . . . What should i do? Can anyone help me . . . Feels so hopeless

2009-10-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

Went to Bugis with Yuni, Giselle and Isabelle! Super fun because we were like fooling around the whole time^^ Went home late though . . . The neoprints are with Giselle so i can only show it when school resumes next Tuesday . . .

Finally saw Key's new looks! Super happy and love their new song "Ring Ding Dong" !

Nothing really to write cause days are getting boring . . .

SIANZ !!!!!!!

2009-10-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

Exams are really torturous !!! Lucky that it is ending on 9102009, which is tomorrow !!!!!!
Been going out with Selle, Hui Wen, Isabelle and Yuni . . .
Good things and bad things though . . . The good thing is that i can see him even though he is very far . . . However the bad thing is that i will cry, seeing his hand injured . . .

Been chasing SHINee KEY lately . . . Can see from my blogskin rite?
Maybe i should change my mind and start to chase SHINee instead . . . . :)

Nothing else to post . . . Just glad that he is recovering well . . .

Don't anyone dare to bully my friends or they will die !!!!!

Pathetic Weirdo . . .

2009-10-04T17:36:00.000+08:00

Haiz, 2 months never blog le . . . super lazy and i got nothing to blog.
Have a change of hearts again . . . Is it my fault that everything is going haywire?
Haiz, envy of the rest . . . Maybe i shouldn't have a heart, makes me feel so restless . . .
How wish that i am blind, deaf, mute so that i can stop hearing those things, see what i shouldn't see and say what i don't wanna say . . . .

Can;t imagine how stupid i am, forever liking the wrong person at the wrong time . . .
It happens again and again to me and i am sick of it . . .
Maybe this is my life, and that i should just give in to it. . .
Heard so many things from Giselle and that made me envy others more . . .
Always the odd one out in the clique . . . Or maybe i shouldn't be with them in the first place . . .
So confused . . . I'm lucky that i don't email cause otherwise i might not even be posting a post . . .

Haiz, thats the only thing i can do . . . Maybe its just that i am not willing to let it go . . .
Wanna know how it feels like to emo but i don't wanna hurt myself . . .
Wanna stop liking that someone cause it hurts so much . . .
Don't even know why am i behaving this way, maybe its just that i have fallen to deep . . .
Hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

audrey died today . . .

Nothing . . .

2009-08-25T18:35:00.000+08:00

Its been such a long time since i last post a post.
Everyone is asking me to blog! (You know who you are)
Haiz, been stressed in school. Mathematics, Science and every other subjects.
Wanna pass all of my subjects by the end of year.
Got pissed off yesterday because of some issues that i don't wanna write about.
Feel so pathetic, think i know how some people use to feel when they emoed on themselves . . .
Sianz sianz sianz

Sad and Betrayed

2009-07-26T15:51:00.000+08:00

How i wish i can really convince you . . .
But why are you so stubborn ???
I wish that you will always know that we will be here for you . . .
Hope you will understand why we are doing this,
Its not to make you sad but its to prevent you from being hurt . . .
Hope you will think it true and know that he is not the guy for you . . .
I will never give up on you and you will always be my friend . . .
We will always be there for you . . .

Sadness forever

Weekends

2009-07-12T16:58:00.000+08:00

Weekends. . . Something which i seriously dread.
Weird but that is the truth.
Something happen to my friend and i am terribly upset.
Can someone teach me what to do?

Tired and ill

2009-07-08T14:11:00.000+08:00

How can i really express myself . . .
The pain and agony that i feel
Which is not from my illness . . .
What can i do to stop what is happening . . . .
Nothing . . . Nothing at all . . .

Finally !

2009-06-18T23:09:00.000+08:00

Heys ! Here i am back finally a long four months!!! Wasn't really in the mood of blogging though . . . I'm officially a fan of SS501!!! Even after the show, i am still chasing after them !!! When triple S have their concert in singapore in around december , i'm so gonna buy the most expenxive tickets and see them face to face !!!

Not saying anymore, just wanna rest and check up on them again . . . Bye!

Signing out,
SS501 4ever Fan
Audrey

Late Posts

2009-04-18T21:50:00.000+08:00

So sorry for not updating my blog. . . Was too busy this past few days or months cause its the streaming year and i have to buck up !!! Had a new korean member into our family !!! She's called Yae Lin and she's super friendly !!! Have a new teacher for korean . . . Now studying every saturdays at changi airport and the timing is around 11am-4pm. Anybody interested must tell me hor !!! THe more the merrier and more help we can get . . . But please do not play and interrupt the others who wanna study las . . . Had lots of fun today with Yae Lin , Giselle and Isabelle !!! thanks giselle for heeding my advice . . . Thats all i'm writing this time so bye for now !!! ^^

I HATE BETRAYERS AN PPL WHO CAN'T STAND OTHERS HAVING A BETTER RELATIONSHIP THAN HER !!!!

Camp Time

2009-03-16T23:23:00.000+08:00

I had camp for the past three days. . . was so tired cause i was somehow sick cause i was giddy . . . So sad that i missed out campfire and actually have to keep sleeping . . .

Woke up at 6.30am so that i have sufficient time to prepare and reach school before 7am fpr NCDCC service day training at HTA. Was timer for that day so i was like very tired. Went back to school around 12 noon. We were all like super sleepy and our brain was like going to switch off mode. Ate lunch b4 continueing what we were supposed to do.

At night, ate black sesame chicken glutinous rice, and was totally tird but cuz its a training so we have to endure. Didin't go for night walk cuz it was raining and the sirs didn't want us to get wet and of course for our safety.Bathed and had a good night sleep.

Next day we went for dragon boating !!! But of course we need to pass through the few obstacle course that the comittee had made and also the ones we made , was very dirty as you have to crawl in drains and in soapy waters, the feeling you would be feeling is gross. All of us was quite happy to go for dragon boating , but sadly it rained very heavily and we had to sing the campfire songs and wait for the rain to somehoe stop. Quite a few of us was sick including me but mine was not the too serious one , we were actually forced to sleep and we were somehow banned from going for the campfire and slept in the classroom under the care of Sir Gary , Sir Yong Han , Sir Kenneth , Yi shin , Jingyi and of course encik Daniel !!! Felt really weak at that moment , and we were named casualties . . .

Last day was somehow bored cause we were not allowed to go anywhere except the boundary set up for us , and we were sick of that room cause we had to stay in there day and night. Poor Elya and Amelia who keep fainting or blank out , and Sir Yong Han had to cary them from place to place.

Not writing anymore cause i really need plenty of rest, will tell more the next time. Good nitez !!!

Malacca Trip

2009-03-08T17:30:00.000+08:00

So sorry for the very late update on my blog. My sister is frequently using it so i don't really have the time the update.

Went for the school's Muar/Malacca trip on Thursday and Friday. It was pretty fun as our class wasa prettty bonded and its like the first time. We Bought chewing gums and its really loads of it for your information. Everybody was like chewing it frequently on the bus cuz we can't bring it back to Singapore. Went to the different plantations and had loads of fun. The food waas okay as we had Peranakan food for dinner as dinner on the first day. I think the best is second day lunch as we had chinese food and we really keep asking for rice.

Miss Auntie Aisha, Who was our tour guide. She was always very good to us and never failed to get our attention. Bought quite a few local products, but didn't spend finish the amount cuz scared parents scold. Bought wife biscuit, beh teh soh , and of course pineapple tarts. but i have to say that i spent come of my money on unneeded items like tidbits, chewing gums , ice cream and tea eggs. Feel that the money is really wasted las. Could have use it to buy more things on the last day. Hahas, must really learn self ccontrol, caannot use monney without thinking liaos!!! :)

Will put the pictures at the next entry but don't expect a lot kays. Cuz mostly is taken on the second day. Gotta go and help out le, And Byes !!!

STRESSED !!!!!

2009-01-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!! I'm so stressed. I'm currently lagging behind te schedule for lessons and i still can't get perfect perfect timings !!!!! I'm seriously lousy to not be able to manage my time properly with my school work and my household chores. Anyways , was not able to go back to see teachers yesterday as the security guard say there is new rule regarding us going back or something similiar. Having CD parade tomorrow again so I wish that i can perfect my timing as quickly as possible so that i won't have to make them do pumpings because of me. So , thats all for tonight , GOOD NITEZ !!! :)

holiday over . . .:(

2009-01-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

Haiz , now that the first twodays of new year is over , we have to start school tomorrow in our supposedly very best but I think most of us will slack. My beloved twilight is still with wanyi , which means i have to get it back from tomorrow !!!!! Our senior , cornelis, is gonna go back to holland on 5th feb and its like so soon !!!!! Lucky to really have him as a senior as he really teaches us a lot . . . . and here i am , suppose to be sleeping and yet i blogging . . . Starting school tomorroe le so must work harder so that i can get good results . . . Gonna sleep now so goodnitez !!! :)

COUNTDOWN TILL SAD 5TH FEB 2009 . . .

so soorrry !!!!

2009-01-19T16:51:00.001+08:00

Haiz , now my sunburn is like so wth , it hurts and yet i can do nth abt it. Went for 1st star kayaking course and i actually forgotten my sunblock lotion. luckily todays one is not as worse as the day before. Otherwise i will definately freak out and like stop going to school to prevent being embarrassed.. I was also like reprimanded very badly by my mum , which was like wth for someone like me who doesn;t like to gget scoldins. can't talk now as i have to apply lotion on my face liaos , so bb

School start . . .

2009-01-04T22:51:00.001+08:00

school is going to start tomorrow, which means that it will be another year of stress and homework. I'm sec 2 this year, which means that i will have to choose other subjects, and also must get good results in order not to let my family membbers despise me. Gonna really work on my maths this year and try to get B, which means that I mjjust really keep practicing. . . same goes for all my subjects, including geography. . . Will only write until here today as i need to have a good night sleep for tomorrow so , goodnight !!!

Continue . . .

2009-01-01T17:25:00.000+08:00

I hoped that he didn't think so litte of me as to believe I would give up that easily. "When did he buy it?"
"He bought it in 1984."
"Did he buy it new ?"
"Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties-or late fifties at the earliest," he admitted sheepishly.
"Ch-Dad, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix it ir anything goes wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic. . . "
"Really, Bella, the thing runs great. They don't build them like that anymore."
The thing, I thought to myself . . . it had possibilities -as a nickname, at the very least.
"How cheap is cheap?" After all, that was the part I couldn't compromise on.
"Well, honey. I kind of already bought it for you. As a homecoming gift." Charlie peeked sideways at me witha hopeful expression.
Wow. Free.
"You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car."
"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." He was looking ahead at the road when he said this. Charlie wasn't comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. I inherited that from him. So I was looking straight ahead as I responded.
"That's really nice, Dad. Thanks. I really appreciate it." No need to add that my being happy in Forks is an impossibility. He didn't need to suffer along with me. And I never looked a free truck in the month-or engine.

No longer gonna write anymore so if you want it, can come borrow from me. I still have all four books with me now so please tell me. thanks !!!

Twilight preface and chapter 1

2008-12-31T15:40:00.000+08:00

Preface: I'd never given much thought to how i would die-though i'd had reason enough in the last few months -but even if i had , i would never have imagined it like this.
I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.
Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone i loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.
I knew that if I'd never come to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it come to an end.
The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.

1(First Sight): My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favourite shirt-sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.
In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this inconsequential town more than any other place in the United States of America. It was from this town and its gloomy omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when i was only a few months old. It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until i was fourteen. That was the year i finally put my foot down ; these past three summers. my dad, vacationed with me in California for 2 weeks instead.
It was to Forks that i now exiled myself-an action that I took with great horror. I detested Forks.
I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun and the blistering heat. I loved the vigorous, sprawling city.
"Belle," my mum said to me-the last of a thousand times-before i got to the plane. "You don't have to do this.'
My mum looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines. I felt a spasm of panic as I stared at her wide, childlike eyes. How could i leave my loving, erratic, harebrained mother to fend for herself? Of course she had Phil now, so the bills would probably get paid, there would be food in the refrigerator, gas in her car, and someone to call when she gets lost, but still. . .
"I want to go," I lied. I'd always been a bad liar, but I'd been saying this lie so frequently that it sounded almost convincing now.
"Tell Charlie I said hi."
"I will."
"I'll see you soon." She insisted. "You can come home whenever you want-I'll come right back as soon as you need me."
But I could see the sacrifice in her eyes behind the promise.
"Don't worry about me."I urged. "It'll be great. I love you, Mom."
She hugged me tightly for a minute, and then I got on the plane, and she was gone.
It's a four-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks. Flying doesn't bother me; the hour in the car with Charlie, though, I was a little worried about.
Charlie had really been fairly nice about the whole thing. He seemed genuinely pleased that I was coming to live with him for the first time with any degree of permanence. He'd already gotten me registered for high school and was going to help me get a car.
But it was sure to be awkward with Charlie. Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose, and I didn't know what there was to say regardless. I knew he was more than a little confused by my decision-like my mother before me, I hadn't made a secret of my distaste for Forks.
When I landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. I didn't see it as an omen -just unavoidable. I'd already said my goodbyes to the sun.
Charlie was waiting for me with the cruiser. This I was expectingm, too. Charlie is Police Chief Swan to the good people of Forks. My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of my funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lights on top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.
Charlie gave me an awkward, one-armed hug when I stumbled my way off the plane.
"It's good to see you, Bella," he said, smiling as he automatically caught and steadied me. "You haven't changes much. How's Renee?"
"Mom's fine. It's good to see you, too, Dad." I wasn't allowed to call him Charlie to his face.
I had only a few bags. Most of my Arizona clothes were too permeable for Washington. My mom and I had pooled our resources to supplement my winter wardrobe, but it was still scanty. It all fit easily into the trunk of the cruiser.
"I found a good car for you, really cheap," he announced when we were strapped in.
"What kind of car?" I was suspicious of the way he said "good car for you" as opposed to just "good car".
"Well, it's a truck actually, a Chevy."
"Where did you find it?"
"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?" La Push is the tiny Indian reservation on the coast.
"No."
"He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Charlie prompted.
That would explain why i didn't remember him. I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.
"He's in a wheelchair now," Charlie continued when I didn't respond, "so he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap."
"What year is it?" I could see from his change of expression that this was the question he was hoping i wouldn't ask.
"Well, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine-it's only a few years old, really."

Well, I shall write till here so far as there is really a lot of pages to go on, so i'll try to write more tomorrow or later. . . :)
Audrey leaving . . .

New thing

2008-12-31T14:10:00.000+08:00

As i have a lot of people asking me to lend them my series of twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn, i will put 1 chapter or more each day so that you all can read. Will start about later, or maybe when school starts so please wait for it. thank

Back from China Xi An

2008-12-19T14:05:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back from china , was away for 8 days and was so miising the food here. Its not that the food there is not appetising , but its just that i am not used to it.

Went to see the 8th miracle of the world, the terracotte army of Qin Shihuang. It was very big and the army was like alot!!! We also went to HuaQing Gong , which is where Yang Yu Huan and the emperor Xuanzhong bathed and where the other ministers had their time in the springs.We alsp went to Huangdiling and saw where the roote of our first ancestor where. Had loads of fun but didn't have enough money to buy enough gifts for all of you so , please accept my most sincere apologies !!!

Nth else to write , so please wait for the next post. AND TWILIGHT IS FINALLY IN TOWN !!!!!

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! :(

2008-12-02T16:12:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I AM SO FEDUP !!! THE RATING FOR TWILIGHT IN SINGAPORE IS ACTUALLY NC16 !!!!! I HATE THE RATING IN SINGAPORE !!!!! I WANNA WATCH TWILIGHT !!!!!

And i am going to china this saturday for 8 days with my grandma and uncle so , i will be very unfree to blog and i wont go online . . . :(

CD Camp

2008-11-22T20:26:00.000+08:00

Had my cca camp on thursday and friday . . . It was super fun as we had prom night and had a lot of fun !!! All my seniors were like so pretty wearing their dresses, and of course the guys were all so good-looking !!! Were like so tired when we went home . . . Dunno what to write le . . .so , gtg first

26 MORE DAYS TO TWILIGHT PREMIERE IN SINGAPORE !!!

Sadest day of all . . .

2008-11-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

Haiz , i cannot blog any time from today all the way to tuesday ( my birthday ) as she suddenly passed away today . . . so that means i will be busy and of course tired from all the entertainings well what i am supposed to do . . . talk to you all later on bahz . . . Bye !!!

1 MONTH 4 DAYS TO TWILIGHT PREMIERE IN SINGAPORE !!!

I/E Carnival . . .

2008-11-12T19:21:00.000+08:00

Went back to primary school again , and saw some of my old friends too !!! Went because of my brother actually , even though i was supposed to complete my holiday homework. Saw Samantha Seah too , even though i didn't expect her to come !!!
Told Ms Tan that i got 4th in class and she was happy for me !!! And i also had a slight chat Mr Chan. . . But I'm sad that i couldn't find Mr Lau . . . :( Went with Zi Yi afterwards , playing games and walking around . . . And my brother actually went missing twice !!!
I gotta go off first le . . . Post more tomorrow if i've the time . . . :)

6 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY !!! :)
1 MONTH 6 DAYS MORE TO TWILIGHT PREMIERE IN SINGAPORE !!! :)

Had Fun !!! :)

2008-11-11T18:45:00.001+08:00

I had a lot of fun today , made two new friends and bullied my kor , Raymond ( also known as Mario or Jasmine ) hehehe , that is a lot of fun . . .
Went out out with Qian Hui early in the morning to watch HSM3 , as she has always wanted to watch it . . . Then i met Amirah and a councillor , who are both like me a twilight fanatic !!! We were like so crazy discussing about the show coming out !!! Happy to find someone , you see . . .
Then we went swimming, and because Raymond was late , we were torturing him the whole time we were there, and you don't know how fun that was!!! His friends alllike don't care him then go play themselves !!! We were like down there laughing at him !!!
After that me and Qian Hui and Hui Ping went to eat sushi , which were like so expensive !!! Think i should still stick to hawker centers next time , think whether i should go for tomorrow's I/E carnival or do my homework tomorrow . . .

7 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY !!!
1 MONTH AND 7 DAYS TO TWILIGHT PREMIERE IN SINGAPORE !!!

Twilight!

2008-11-11T00:36:00.001+08:00

going out again . . .

2008-11-10T13:43:00.000+08:00

As my title , i am going out again . . . I am going out with Qian hui to watch Hsm 3/007/Madagascar 2 and Dragon Hunters . . The 5th time that i am going out with my friends or only one . . .Not going to write a lot today so yeah , Happy spending your holidays !!! :)

8 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY !!!!! :)
I MONTH AND 8 DAYS TO TWILIGHT PREMIERE IN SINGAPORE !!!!! :)

Busy but bored . . . :(

2008-11-08T23:57:00.000+08:00

Haiz , as i said in the title , busy at first but now bored . . . I was actually chasing after this show called It is actually about this group of people who knows wu gong , then they all study at Xi Cheng , the main people are ppl from Hei Girls and lollipop . Wang Zi acted as a very pro person as he is smart and learns tactics fast . . . The show is quite nice and you all should watch it , even though i would say it only has 13 episodes . .

Just watch finish the last episode today and so that means my life is going to be bored once again unless i watch the whole thing again , and that would mean having to spend 3 whole days to watch it again . . . :( Planning to buy the whole thing even though the ending doesn't link very nicely . . .

Haiz , anyway , i just have to anticipate for NCDCC Fun day/camp and my birthday and of course Christmas . . . :) And last but not least , Twilight the movie . . . :)

10 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY !!!
1 MORE MONTH 10 DAYS TO TWILIGHT PREMIER IN SINGAPORE !!!

Sianzzz Once Again . . . :(

2008-11-05T23:08:00.000+08:00

Went out with Andrea today , to buy her hair accessories and we ate lunch together . . . We played at the arcade and I got hit by one of the games , how pathetic can that be ???
Visited my Grandma today , actually was forced , as our house key is still missing and i couldn't be left alone at home by dunno what theory . . .
Nothing was done properly and i was so angry . . . :( Hoped that I could go out with them tomorrow but I don't think its possible . . . :(
Oh , and Daddy , HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

13 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY !!!

Outside . . .

2008-11-04T19:19:00.000+08:00

Went out to Andrea's house today . . . didn't know that Giselle was coming because i thought that she still hate me . . . but lucky she said lets not quarrel anymore , which is a good thing . . . :)
We played volleyball and basketball today , even though there was no BBQ , we still had quite a fun day . . . :)We also played the playground , and the swimming pool . . . :)
Now at her house blogging , going to play sparkles soon , which means that i gotta go le , and so thats a BYE BYE !!! :)
Still the same , hope all of you will spend a happy and joyous holidays . . . :)

14 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY !!! :)

Sabotaging Game !!!

2008-11-03T23:47:00.000+08:00

Went out with Zi Yi , Qian Hui , Carinna , Nicole , Erika , Raymond and Dominic to watch Sing to the Dawn . . . I cannot say that its nice but its also not very boring. Erika slept in the middle of the show and me and Nicole had to wake her up ! We all wanna sabotage the couple , Raymond and Zi Yi , but the 2 of them acted like enemies , and thus making a lot of the chances into fights . . .
After watching Sing to the Dawn , we went to play arcade , i spent $13 alone and i think about $30 was spent by the others . . . Saw Syaril and Z too , and they were like so hilarious , playing and making jokes as usual . . . We went to eat afterwards , forcing
Dominic to pay for me and the GST . . . We had to chase and disturb him for 10 minutes before he relented and pay for me :)
Went to Simei next , to put my phone in to army ( servicing my phone actually ) and then went back home . . . nothing that nice actually . . . :)
After that , went to the hospital to see my Grandmother , who had fractured her pelvis when she fell down in the toilet . . . She seems to be in a better mood and her appetite has grown . . . :)
Going Out tomorrow , to Andrea's BBQ , and finally one day that i don't have to fetch my brother . . . I wanna sleep le , otherwise i will have panda eyes :( hehehehe , so , gtg le . . . Hope that the rest of you will spend your holidays Joyously , and hope that i will spend my birthday joyously too . . . :)

15 Days Encounting To Audrey's Birthday !!!

Bored . . . . :(

2008-11-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

Haiz , I should be happy that i am having early holidays but i am totally bored at home !!! My grandma got admitted into the hospital as she had a fracture at the pelvis . . . Went out finally today , but with my family members . . . went to Ocean Pacific and bought 12 clothings , cause there is buy 2 get 1 free offer and the amt of clothes we buy must get over $200 so that my mum can renew her membership . . . :)
My sis BF came again today . . . seems like nth can stop . . . :) played mahjong with my family yesterday and lost abt $9 thanks to my father ,. . .
As you all can see , i changed my skin . . . Cause I'm like counted a Twilight Fanatic thanks o my sis . . . Please leave comments on my skin okiies ??? thx to those who comment first :)But please don't spam or criticise just because you don't like the book okiies ??? :)
Go off first le , need to help my popo cook wonton noodles :) Hope the rest of you all can enjoy your holidays !!! :)

Busy once more . . .

2008-10-28T22:05:00.000+08:00

There is like a tons of things that i have to do this week , first is helping elya to coach sharwin for his first-aid test which is this friday . . . second is that i have to print out my result slip, which is totally terrible and i believe that Cheryl will get more responsibility than me because she got 4As . . .

Went out with Ting Fang again , to watch HSM 3 , and i also bought the soundtrack , which might get uploaded onto my blog . . . and if anyone wants to see something like the behind the scenes of the show , please tell me and i will upload it here too. . . Oh ya , and please leave comments to tell me how i can improve my blog ... :)
And lastly , i hope that all the sec 1s CD members can pass their first-aid test !!! :)

Good News !!!!! :)

2008-10-20T19:04:00.000+08:00

Yeah !!! My form teache told me that i might be getting 3rd or 4th in class . . . First time in my whole life . . . Went out with Ting Fang on 10 of Ocober , which seems so long ago . . . Still remembered spending about $166.80 that day. We went to MiniBits , MiniToons , Lovely Land , Popular , Swensen's and Comic Connection . . . I still can't believe that i spent less then i had calculated. . . But the place where i spent the most Amount of money was at MiniBits , Cause I Bought a Clip or my mum , necklace for my sister , a pair of earrings for my second sis , a minnie bolster for myself (the only pathetic thing i bought for myself) , a set of necklace and earrings as a late b'dae present and a hair band for Hui ling . . . I also didn't Spend much on my Kor's b'dae present , wonder if he'll like it. . . :) I also got the most Valued Person award for my class , Having my First Aid test next friday , Must definately revise as much as i can . . . CD sec1s must JiaYous !!! And I am awaiting For the much anticipated Twilight Movie, which is coming up on December 18 2008 , and i only need eclipse to finis my collection of the twilight full collection . . . Uploading the videos that can be found on that website itself . . . There are five different ones, the official trailer , teaser trailer 1 and 2 , fight scene , and the comic-con sizzle reel . . . :)Teaser trailer 1 seems to have the slightest problem uploading , but will try . . . :)

Stressss !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-25T16:36:00.000+08:00

Haiz , now is exam time. So busy the last few months thats why i never post entry. I tink a lot of ppl is pissed off la. Hehehehe, well , cannot talk any longer le, write more after exam. Bye bye and good luck for your exams !!!!

holidays

2008-06-04T17:12:00.000+08:00

haiz, holidaes are suppose to be fun but why am i feeling so bored ??? even though i get to go to cheryl's chalet, but i still wish that i can go school. maybe this is how funny people are , when there is school , they wish that there isn''t but when they are bored, the only thing they can think about is school !!! Although there is 4 more homework to do , think that i can complete in time. i think that this the most boring holidays i have since young. think i gtg le , bb !!! :)

不管在天涯海角，我们想要见面，就能靠缘分了！

fun time !!!

2008-05-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

i had so much fun during the chalet . even though i had to return after one dae , is till get to play and help to bbq the food. so sad that hui ling had to leave early on the first dae at about 4 and she had a fun dae with Li ping at the park. so sad , i wanted to go but i rather go for the wild wild wet even though it was raining. I met new friends , crystal. she is in npcc from another school. and i finally get my phone back as mine was in reservice for about 6 daes and how much i missed the feeling of it. could not get use to the nokia one. i could not chat le . good nitez !!!

sports dae and a happy ending

2008-05-21T18:18:00.000+08:00

yo ,
todae was the school's sports dae and it was quite exciting. my commander , cornelis chong won second for the 400m he also won the best commander for lower secondary during's yesterdae drill competition and ncdcc won the final championship as we had 4 out of 6 prizes. the prizes are first for lower sec by basics team one , top for upper sec by basics team one and the top commander for both upper and lower sec best commander. shubli won the upper sec one. although i was sad as i didn't win (cause i was in the sescond team) but was still happi that ncdcc could have the final championship. i had quite fine time playing as i was in the telematch for all ccas and we won the third prize. quite funny when we had to take out our shoelaces and having to form the longest line ever. the thing that made me super happpi. i was that i actually held on to terrence hands for the first time !!! i wanted to help him jias yous so thats we held hands. the thing is that i hate my friends for trying everything to make us talk together. i gtg le. don't wanna talk more. bb

busy, busy and very busy

2008-05-14T18:58:00.000+08:00

Haiz, i didn't realli get good marks and i still have to plan for my class cheer !!! Another thing is i have NCDCC tomorrow at the same timing of the cheer comp !!! To say the truth, i prefer to go for my CCA then the cheer competition. i still have to plan the dance, cheer, movements and even the song !!! i am so dead meat

free and busy !!!

2008-05-12T19:55:00.000+08:00

yes !!! i am finally free from exams but i have a heavier schedule of ncdcc practices ahead !!! we are now practicing for the upcoming drill competition. i hope that we can get the champion this year. i shall be very busy from now to next week as there are more than 1 things i need to settle !!! i have to settle the cheer competition and the timings of the drill competition(cause i am the timer) and i have to do things like facing the papers on wednesday and thursday . hope that we can win the drill comp as we had realli worked hard for it . ncdcc , work hard and jia yous all the way to all seniors and juniors !!!!!

For all students

2008-05-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

All of you must have a hard time studying for your exams this half a year right ??? Remember that those who visits my blog is going to have your exams ending tomorrow and you can finally relax. Don't give up and fight with it !!!!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!!!

2008-05-11T19:11:00.000+08:00

TO ALL MOTHER'S IN EACH FAMILIES, I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE A HAPPY AND A JOYOUS DAY TODAY WITH ALL YOUR CHILDREN AND HUSBANDS. HOPE YOU ALL IS WELL TO YOU ALL THIS YEAR !!!!!

MY NEW PHONE !!!!!

2008-04-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

I finally got my new phone !!! i bought it just yesterday but cause i had to charge it so i can only officially announce i got a new phone today. The brand is K660i and its a sony ericsson phone. This phone caught my eye completely when my sister told me about it. Its lime on white and to my surprise , i got a pair of SINGAPORE FLYER TICKETS !!!!! Can you imagine ??? I didn't know about it until i received a brochure that has it written on it. I will show all of you how my phone looks like tomorrow when i have taken a picture of it. I wonder who will go with me to the singapore flyer. Huiling will confirm say that guy's name. Better don't tell her abt it. Hehehe. well thats all , goodnitez and sweet dreams to every single one of you who visits my blog

BAD DAE

2008-04-17T20:46:00.000+08:00

Long time not in here
Today was a bad day cause i have to see this retarded sotong alien sitting and eating like dunno wat to say. Wats worse is , i have my history test todae. i got study but the class was way too noisy and disruptive that some of us couldn't take it and was lucky to be able to take the test outside. The most unlucky thing is that i actually the guy i like standing behind me during chapel. I was like thinking that the voice sound familiar that when i turn back , i saw him
I sure am happy but scared at the same time . Don't wanna talk le
Goodnitez

i'm back

2008-03-24T17:42:00.000+08:00

Hallo,
I know that i didn't post for quite a long time but i am back. I wanted to share with you waht i had lately but i don't have pictures. Hehehe, hope you all won't mind. It was quite a joyous weeks that i had. The happiest thing today is that i received my NCDCC uniform. I was quite happy as its finally here and i wish to wear it almost immediately!!! Don't really know what to type so see ya !

10,000 BC

2008-03-11T15:37:00.001+08:00

Hallo once again!
This is another show as i watched both show in a day. The first show was on HBO. I watched this in the cinema as my mum had free tickets to the show at a theater name ENG WAH. Its quite an interesting show as its abt hunters from different tribes being united and fighting with the people who had killed their lives. Da Li, the main actor, went on the journey to search for his village mates as they were captured to become slaves to build a pyramid or what so ever. Evelina, the girl he liked, was also captured but not to be a slave, but to be another wife as the person who had captured fell in love with her at first sight. Quite a lot of funny scenes but the ending is the best. I shan't tell you all yet as i want all of you to experience the touchiness of the show!!! BB

World Trade Center

2008-03-11T15:27:00.000+08:00

Hallo everyone,
I am telling you of a movie today. The show is called World Trade Center. It is a true story based on two survivors during the 911. You might be a bit bored when you watch the beginning as it was a bit no link to the story but the interesting part is abt 10 yo 20 min later. When the tower crashed , these two survivors were trapped under the building. The searg, who was the in-charge, was trapped 40m below while the other, Will, was only 20m below.(
please correct me if i am wrong) They were lucky as two marine officers who didn't gave up the search when the HQ asked them to. A very touching story and hope you all will watch it!!!!

Shows last watch

2008-02-28T16:23:00.000+08:00

Halo people out there who have visited my blog
I am going to recommend to you all a show called L Change The World. I watched it just last night and thought that it is my duty to tell all of you. To those who have watched Death Note 1 and 2 will know who is L, but those who don't know, i am going to do a brief description to you. L is a very smart detective who needs to find out who is KIRA, who has been killing criminals who had been set free. This is the last episode to the series and it is about L's last 23 days as he had written it on the Death Note Book. He had to stop a very deadly virus and find out the antidote when the maker of the virus died. He also have to take care of two children who has been a 'gift' to him. One is a maths genius while the other is a messenger for her father who is the maker of the virus. Watch the show if you wanna see genius fighting genius in the show cause this is all i can tell you. bb

A Letter Of Thanks

2008-02-23T19:52:00.000+08:00

Hallo to everybody who is visiting my blog ,
I wish to thank some people for helping me to create my blog . These people are my da jie(Gaby) and er jie(Denise). They are the people who have help me when i am in trouble . And of course , my san jie(Hui Ling). Thanks a ton for everything that you have done to make sure my blog look nice. I know you both have tried your best so stop saying it sucks. and da jie , i will not scold you for wat you have written . hehehe

2008-02-22T15:46:00.000+08:00

Sweetbox - Cinderella [lyrics]

Verse
Here i am
Trying to find my way
I`ve kissed so many frogs but i`ve never find a prince
I think they lied
I was promised much more than this
Where`s my happy-ever-after?

Chorus
Cinderella is the queeen of the kingdom
Cinderella got the dream she was dreaming
I wanna know where is my happy end
Cinderella got a prince and the kingdom
Cinderella got the dream she was dreaming
I wanna know where is my fairy-tale?

Verse
Something`s wrong
cause all my glass shoe break
And no one`s ever helped this damsel in distress
To hell with this
I`m not gonna waste more time
I won`t wait to find my prince charming

Chorus
Cinderella are u really that happy?
Cinderella are u really that lucky?
I wanna know is your life liked you dreamed
Cinderella are u really that happy?
Cinderella are u really that lucky?
I wanna know is your life like u dreamed?